Hey Ruth,
I did something today at work I would normally don't do, which is give advice or give a suggestion to someone without being asked. However, I meditated and said a prayer before I offered a suggestion to my co-worker about her teenage son. I remembered you shared with me about overhearing a conversation where you know you need to say just one thing to hopefully turn a situation around.
Anyway, a co-worker, whose office is right next to where I sit, is having problems with her teenage son. The son is acting up, trying different things, getting into trouble and I know he is at the point of making a decision that might negatively affect the rest of his life if he doesn't get some direction now. I was getting so anxious about having to listen to another telephone conversation with her son today that I had to stop and say a prayer and ask God for help. So I went to her and asked if I could speak with her before she left for the day.
She said yes and I closed the door and told her that I was sensitive to what her son was going through because I felt he is crying out for help in trying to figure out who he is. I shared with her that my cousin I was raised with chose the wrong path as a teenager and now he is estranged from his family. I explained that my minister told me years ago when I was troubled that my best friend was so depressed and what could I do, that he suggested my friend start doing something for someone less off than she. I told my co-worker I believed if most teenagers could get an opportunity to see how teenagers live in other countries, they would appreciate their home, family and lifestyle, and not take everything for granted.
I even looked on the internet for places where her son could volunteer before I spoke with her. I told her there is an organization in Pittsburgh that has individuals work one-on-one with immigrants to help them learn English. She liked that idea and said her son is bright, but with all the school girls clamouring over him and his ego so big now, that he has gotten lazy. She did say she knows friends who volunteer at a soup kitchen over the holidays and maybe this is something she and her husband will look into for her son to get involved with. She told me that several people have suggested she just have her son enroll in the military.
I ended with telling her I can't imagine being a parent in this day when the world is ready to tell you who you should be and that my hat was off to her and her husband for trying to raise their children in the right manner. I don't know where this will end, but I just felt I had to finally say something since it has been going on for over a year now that I have had to listen to this problem with her son getting worse and especially because he will be graduating from high school next year. Millicent
Working with boys has been among the most cherished events of my life and netted much change within their lives, provided they were old enough when I was asked to intervene by their parent(s), or in one instance, their aunts. However, when a child is still under the control of a mother who is at loose ends and not mature, a couple have not made it even then.
My last work in this field was in Mexico, as some of you know. My friend Coury is doing just fine today. He was on an even more troublesome course when his mom contacted me in total sorrow and distraction. I told her, “Get him to Mexico. I will take care of seeing to everything else.” What went on was not seen, except by Coury and me. We know what singular, secret, and special things were ‘whispered’ to us as we walked and talked for short periods of time. Meanwhile all around us women were criticizing his rudeness to his mother and so on, completely unaware why he was there. Kathy and Julie accompanied Coury and I through some exercises each day as they worked on their individual spiritual adventures, but supported my work and helped him, too. There is no way anyone could know what would happen, but I did. I really did! Coury became a new person—himself! He was at that perfect age (17) when a boy becomes a man, and he chose a life of spirit rather than to be guided by imperfect men who were miserable and were using his wealth to do greater harm to themselves.
I salute his Mom and others before him, as well as wonderful fathers, too, and aunts like you, Millicent, who step in at the right time and help out. May God bless this young man and give him space to grow and know he is going to have to live with whatever decisions he makes now, so make them good!!!!
There are no comments for this entry.
[Add Comment]